Basic Magic

Outrageous. Unbelievable. Crazy. Impressive. These are just a few of the words that come to mind after making bread from scratch in Thor. And I do mean scratch. I got whole grain in its wholest form: wheat berries. I mean I know that flour comes from wheat. But this is only really a theory in my head, not something I've actually seen change form. Even though the recipe promised that the berries would pulverize into flour and even though it told me I could knead the dough in the container in a matter of seconds, never touching it with my hands or dirtying a counter, I'm ashamed to say I doubted. 

Other than letting the dough rise for an additional 15 minutes, the recipe guided me into a loaf of whole wheat bread. I feel like I'm master of the universe. Perhaps what God felt like on his seventh day of making the world; smug satisfaction in creating something so complete and different from so simple and few parts. 

Do you masticate when you drink?

I know it sounds kinky, but it's a perfectly innocent question. To masticate is to chew and some people advocate "chewing" your juice before swallowing it despite the fact there is nothing of substance to grab hold of. Chewing stimulates the production of saliva and with it digestive enzymes that help get things going, as it were.

I had read that you aren't supposed to mix fruits and vegetables when you juice (with the exception of the "cross-over" fruit and vegetable, the apple and carrot. Apparently these are confused vegetative forms that are AC-DC, if you will). They have fundamentally different enzymes and can upset your guts when thrown together. However, the masticating camp says this is bunk, that as long as you drink slowly and mock-chew every bite, you're body can prepare for what is about to hit it. Ultimately, it would have the same effect as eating a salad followed by peach cobbler.
Personally, my verdict is still out. I will certainly heed the advice of slowing down to enjoy my shakes more, but superstition and/or past experience still has me segregating my fruits and veggies.

Farmer's Market Day

This time of year, the farmer’s market is obscenely abundant. Thor has changed the way I view them. I now feel like a kid in a candy shop. Anything that was previously a mystery can now be simplified by throwing it into Thor to make soup or a smoothie. Peaches are in season, but you live alone? Can’t buy too many or they’ll go all squishy and mock you from where they sit uneaten in the fridge. Not a problem. I bought 10, sliced and froze them for future smoothies and ice cream. They will be all the more enticing and valuable once the season has passed. (Tip: when freezing fruit, spread the sliced fruit onto a cookie sheet and freeze before bagging. This will help keep it from turning into an impenetrable block.)

A couple of people were demonstrating a recipe for gazpacho with many ingredients available fresh and local this time of year: cucumbers, tomatoes, red pepper. The beauty of this recipe is that you just huck all the ingredients into the container and whiz until smooth. The poor schleps at the market were making the soup with a standard blender, which is no fun and takes several more steps than when done in a Vita-mix. I’m always on the prowl for good blender-friendly recipes so I grabbed this one and tried it immediately when I got home. It is hands down the best gazpacho I’ve ever had. Thanks to Blanca, whoever you are.

Blanca’s Spanish-Style Gazpacho (adapted)

2 slices bread (I used whole grain, but anything you have is fine)

1 large cucumber, peeled

1 large red pepper, stemmed and seeded

3 medium red tomatoes, seeded

2 garlic cloves

1/3 cup olive oil

1/3 cup brown rice vinegar (can substitute white wine vinegar or sherry vinegar)

2 cups water

2 teaspoons sea salt

Place all ingredients into the container in the order given. 1 to 10 on variable, then high. Run for about 2 minutes, until completely liquefied and light pink. Chill for 2 hours and serve cold with a dollop of sour cream and fried shallots (garnish optional).

"To Speak to an Operator Press 0 (With Your Middle Finger)"

Had a bad day? Maybe you did. I’m not going to argue with you about how bad, but did you have to talk to Verizon customer service about ANYTHING? If not, then it is likely you had a better day than my boyfriend.

His phone conked out on him while he was traveling in Mexico. He thought he would just make a quick errand of replacing it on his lunch hour. No such luck.

It almost seems an inverse corollary that the more straight forward and specific your need, the longer it will take. There are so many contractual obligations, so many bells and whistle options that in order to “just” get a phone, you first have to say no to about 11 promotional offers. It would be like going into a restaurant wanting to order a steak and before they’d let you place the order first they’d ask you if you wanted every other item on the menu. “I know you came in saying you wanted the steak, but now that you’re here could I interest you in the fish? The mutton? Are you sure? What about a salad?” All I want is a God damn steak!

Kick Ass Salsa (this began as my sister's Vague Gringa Salsa, but I took liberties with the title to suit the mood. The result is just as delicious.)

4 Roma tomatoes

1/2 can crushed canned tomatoes, 15 ounces

1 lime, juiced

1 teeny weeny bit of lime peel

1 poblano pepper, stemmed and seeded

1 jalapeno pepper, stemmed and seeded

1/3 bunch cilantro, or more to taste

1 teaspoon sea salt, or to taste

1 shallot, chopped

1 onion, chopped

2 small garlic cloves, crushed.

Combine the Roma tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, lime juice, lime peel, peppers, cilantro and salt in the container of the Vita-Mix. Don't turn on machine yet.

In a pan saute the shallot, onion and garlic until fragrant and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add to the container. 

Set machine to variable, starting on #1. Increase speed to #5. Turn off immediately. Pulse on and off until you reach the consistency you want. I like to leave some chunks, but some people prefer their salsa completely smooth.

Give Me Space

Everyone’s got to complain about something. It’s hard to find anything short of vacuuming that the vita-mix can’t do (and I’m told their working on that). But some people are just determined to nit pick. In this effort, it has been pointed out that the super powerful Vita-mix doesn’t fit under most standard size cabinets for counter storage. With the amount I use mine it is irrelevant. If I tucked it away I would just have to drag it out at least once a day to use it. And in the infamous words of Dirty Dancing, “Nobody puts Thor in the corner.”

What’s more, we’re talking about a machine that just replaced my ice cream maker, food processor, spice/coffee grinder, juicer and blender. Plenty of extra room!

Thor's Arrival

Thor was delivered today. He’s my new 5200 black Vita-mix and he’s a beauty. Such power, such lustful aggression. I know he’s got tens of thousands of brethren out there doing the same thing for others, but I feel Thor and I have something special.

It started as a blind date. My sister set us up. My career and passion has always been in food, but it took my engineering-minded sister to see the true greatness of this machine and turn me on to it. “It makes peanut butter AND ice cream,” she raved after having seen it demoed. I indulged her and even thought I understood. I had no idea. We got one for my mother’s birthday. I still had no idea.

It took a one on one, hands-on experience to convert me. I was visiting my sister and of course we played with her Vita-mix. The thing that really got me was making HOT soup. I’m talking piping hot, blow-on-it-first soup! Now that’s whacky. I finally understood why people get a little upset when the Vita-mix is referred to as a blender. It’s an insult. When was the last time you saw a blender crush ice and then turn around and make perfect pureed hot soup?

So, once I took the plunge and ordered this incredibly expensive piece of machinery ($600 if you want the dry container included for grinding grains), I counted the minutes until his arrival.

My boyfriend was a little bemused, all be it supportive, when we turned the corner to my apartment and I saw the box announcing Thor's arrival. You would have thought it was a box of kittens. I was giddy. This was better than Christmas. When my throat hurt enough to call in sick to work the next day, I was almost glad because it gave Thor and me a chance to get properly acquainted.

I watched the intro video and decided I’d make the peach ice cream and cashew butter. (I also made watermelon juice – straight up – and a smoothie with carrots, celery, orange, red grapes and cherry concentrate).

The instruction booklet tells you to clean out the container before the first use, but you know how senseless passion can be. I jumped right into my first whirl with Thor using no protection. I’m not advocating this, but it happens.