Can You Smell me from There?

This should be a scratch-and-sniff screen to convey the potency of this celebration. There's pretty much nothing you can imagine that hasn't been done to garlic. Stuff it, pickle it, puree it, fry it, dry it, even whip it into ice cream (not recommended).

The Hudson Valley Garlic Festival is very well-organized and laid out. There are long corridors of all-garlic food products, areas for eat-now food stalls and a long stretch of craftsman's wares, very wisely segregated from the greasy fingers of garlic eaters.

We hit the ground running with Garlic Knots; think dinner roll meets garlic bread. We chased that with fried garlic, 'cause how can you not try that? I was expecting crunchy, tempura-style cloves, but instead they were like oily roasted garlic. Good, but not that different.

We sampled our weight in pickles and dips. 

There is a whole separate area showcasing varieties of raw garlic and growing information. As you know, I have no green thumb. In fact, my boyfriend needed to rescue the herbs I bought just last week. I seem to rise to the occasion of killing green things. So I saw this pavilion as more of a photo opportunity than a learning experience. 

The only void in the festival was the lack of breath mints. We were shocked a gum or mouthwash company wasn't handing out samples. A perfect marketing opportunity wasted.

We came away loaded down with pickles and olives and honey (oh my!) Our bellies are full, our breath is foul, and we will sleep easy knowing tonight no vampires will come knocking.

Got Gas?

My honey and I sped through Maryland, Delaware and New Jersey last night to arrive in Hudson Valley, NY (well, Kingston, NY more specifically) for the 19th annual Hudson Valley Garlic festival. I've been to the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California, but this is the largest one on the East Coast. They expect 40 to 50,000 people to descend on the small town of Saugerties, all for the love of the stinking rose.

I will, of course, have a "post game" report tonight upon my return from today's festivities. For now all I can say is that New Jersey has some very odd laws. We stopped to get gas last night only to find men in yellow coats doing all the filling. Thinking this peculiar to the station, we drove on to the next rest spot. Turns out it's against the law to fill your own tank. Illegal? Huh? All the more frustrating is that they've installed self-serve pumps which require you to slide your card payment. But, God forbid you go as far as selecting your gas level and you will incur the wrath of the Gas Attendant. You do not want to get these guys mad. Apparently it's a very stressful job. Either that or their about to die from prolonged boredom and are trying to maintain control of the few duties they have. Hostile, inefficient and irritating.

We asked the hotel clerk what this was all about. "I guess people just like to be treated." No, that's called "luxury" not mandatory law. Very strange.

Hummus Along if You Don't Know the Words

A while back I did an article about my favorite kabob place and included a recipe for their hummus. It is the best stuff going. It's luscious and garlicky and bright with lemon flavor. But what really wins me over is the texture. It is smooth as silk and on the thin side. I don't like the typical consistency of commercial hummus that could double as sealant. The restaurant makes it from dried garbanzo beans and I was convinced this was the secret. I steered clear of recipes calling for canned beans because I feared it would give pasty results. Turns out the trick is in the tools, not so much the ingredients. The Vita-Mix absolutely demolishes the beans. No graininess remains. I'm free to make hummus again and not have it cling to the roof of my mouth.

Hummus

(Adapted from Saveur magazine)

Makes 4 cups

2 15-ounce cans chickpeas, reserving 3/4 cup of the canning liquid

1/2 cup, plus 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

6 tablespoons tahini

3 garlic cloves

Salt

Olive oil

Paprika

Drain chickpeas, reserving liquid. Put chickpeas into the container of the Vita-Mix, add the reserved liquid and 1/4 cup water. Start on variable #1, increase to 7 and run for 30 seconds. Scrape down sides and run on high for another 30 seconds, until mixture is fairly smooth.

With the motor running on #7, add lemon juice through the open lid. Add tahini, garlic and salt. Blend until smooth, at least a minute. Taste and adjust seasonings.

Garnish hummus with some olive oil and paprika. Serve with pita bread, crackers or crudites.

Pesto Change-o!

Nothing new about pesto. But it became a classic because it's so darn good. Garlic, basil and cheese? What's not to like? I paired it with the tubular pasta because the shape makes me think of grade school craft projects where we painted them and made necklaces our mom's were obliged to wear. I'm sure other, less fun pastas would also work, but why not use one that makes you smile.

Ageless Pesto

Makes about 4 cups (admittedly way too much). Freeze leftover pesto in ice cube trays for easy use in the future.

11 ounces Parmesan cheese

1 cup raw almonds

1 1/2 cups fresh basil leaves

2 large cloves garlic

1 1/2 - 2 cups olive oil, depending on how thin you want your pesto

1 teaspoon sea salt

Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

I don't usually advise dealing with ingredients independently before throwing into Thor. But in this case you will be processing quite a few hard foods and it is best to do them separately before combining.

Chop the Parmesan cheese into chunks. Put in container of Vita-Mix. Variable on #1, increase to #10. Grind until uniform and the size of smallish pebbles.

Empty cheese into a bowl.

Place the almonds in the container. Variable on #1, increase to #10. Stop when still fairly coarse. You do not want almond flour.

Return the cheese to the container and add the other ingredients. Variable #1, to #5. Pulse if necessary to dislodge the mixture from the sides. Use tamper to blend thoroughly. The final mixture will be thick and fairly solid. If you prefer a smoother pesto, just add more olive oil.