Kinky Hardware

I passed a building under construction today with a cardboard box sitting out front, presumably awaiting installation. The box proclaimed its contents in large block letters: "Steel Pipe Nipples". Does it get any better? I read it twice just to be sure I wasn't wishing it into existence. I think this would make an excellent band name. They could open for Nine Inch Nails. 

Until they go on tour here's a drink inspired by that sighting. It isn't all fuzzy hearts and kittens. It has a sour edge and a bit of a pickly flavor. But if you got up on the wrong side of bed, what else would you'd expect?

Feeling Prickly But Smoothie

1 Kiwano melon

2 tablespoons prickly pear cactus nectar

1/2 cup Kefir

2 tablespoons non-fat plain Greek yogurt

1 teaspoon bee pollen

Dash cayenne

4 ice cubes of coconut water

Handful of baby spinach

All go into the Vita-Mix container in the order given. Variable speed #1 to #10, then high for about 40 seconds - long enough to pulverize the seeds and pollen granules.

Why I chose these ingredients

1. The Kiwano melon is a fruit with attitude. Everything about it says, "Go away. Leave me alone." So, naturally I was drawn to it. The label helpfully describes its flavor as "cucumber-banana", which does nothing to conjure a flavor for me. It has more of a "green" flavor than fruity. The little seeds look like alien embryos - creepy, but mesmerizing.

2. Prickly Pear Cactus Nectar for its "prickliness", of course.

3. Bee pollen for its sting.

4. Cayenne for its fiery bite

5. Spinach for its iron (steel wasn't available).